– tony.espino –

a human. for now.

New Car

TONY ESPINO NEW CAR V1.1 ORIGINAL DRAFT 6/1/15

INT. CAR DEALERSHIP – DAY

A hip car SALESMAN is sitting at a desk across from OLIVE and
her very unhip MOM.

SALESMAN
Well, Olive I think you’re going to
be pretty happy with your new whip.

OLIVE
I think so too.

SALESMAN
It’s a fast one. Watch out, ma.

MOM
She’s the one who needs to watch
out. I’m taking it for a spin when
she’s sleeping.

OLIVE
Uh…no you aren’t. I’ll hide the
keys.

MOM
You’re not going to let momma
drive?

OLIVE
No. Just relax, mom.

SALESMAN
Come on. You’re not going to let
mom take the new whip for a drive?

OLIVE
I don’t think so.

MOM
(to Salesman)
You know how it is. Mom’s not cool
enough to drive. So what’s covered
under warranty on this uh…on the
WHIP?

SALESMAN
On the what?

MOM
(awkardly)
On the uh…WHIP.

SALESMAN
Oh, the new whip has a killer
warranty. Don’t worry about it.

OLIVE
Thanks. Come on, mom. Let’s go.

MOM
Wait just a minute. What about
insurance?

OLIVE
What about it?

MOM
(to salesman)
Do I need to call before we go and
put insurance on the new WHIP?

SALESMAN
I’m sorry. Insurance on what?

MOM
(awkwardly)
Her new…ya know…her new WHIP.

OLIVE
(agitated)
Mom, seriously?

MOM
Need insurance.

SALESMAN
Right on. Listen to ma. She’s
pretty cool. Definitely can’t leave
without insuring the new whip.

MOM
Yeah see I’m cool. And cool me is
about to dial on a cellular phone.

She calls on her phone.

MOM (CONT’D)
(on phone)
Hi Loretta. I’m calling to add some
insurance to my daughter’s new
WHIP.

OLIVE
Oh my God. This is so embarrassing.

MOM
(to salesman)
She’s saying they don’t insure
WHIPS.

SALESMAN
Try a car.

MOM
(on phone)
I’m sorry. It’s a car WHIP.

SALESMAN
Got a pretty funny mom here, Olive.

Olive gets up and storms out.

MOM
(to salesman)
She’s too embarrassed to ask, but
can you show her where the wipers
are? She’s not as familiar as we
are with these new car WHIPS.

BLACKOUT.

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This entry was posted on July 18, 2015 by in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , .

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