– tony.espino –

a human. for now.

Pets

TONY ESPINO PETS V1.1 ORIGINAL DRAFT 6/9/15

INT. – BETSY’S BEDROOM – DAY

BETSY is sitting at her computer, OTTO is on the other side
of the room.

BETSY
Oh man, Otto. You gotta come check
this out.

Otto begins walking toward her and stubs his toe on a rock
that goes flying.

OTTO
Ow! My toe!

BETSY
Oh no! What did you do? That was my
pet rock.

OTTO
Your pet destroyed my toe.

Betsy picks up her rock and looks at it.

BETSY
Ruined.

She holds it up to Otto’s face.

BETSY (CONT’D)
Tell Sadie you’re sorry.

OTTO
No! Sadie should apologize for
hurting my toe.

BETSY
That would be like punching
someone’s baby in the face and
asking the baby to apologize for
hurting your fist.

OTTO
(reluctant)
Whatever. I’m sorry, Sadie.
(surprised)
Oh look pizza poppers.

He grabs a pizza popper off the desk and eats it.

BETSY
Careful. They’re really hot.

Otto spits it out and grabs a container of water off the desk
and drinks it.

BETSY (CONT’D)
Those were my sea monkeys!

OTTO
What?! Why would ya let me drink
sea monkeys?!

BETSY
Those were my pets!

OTTO
They’re in my stomach.

BETSY
Get ’em out.

OTTO
How?

BETSY
Stick your finger down your throat.

Otto tries sticking his finger down his throat but fails.

OTTO
I can’t do it! My fingers taste
like gasoline.

BETSY
Why?

OTTO
I don’t know!

He picks up a massager off the desk and jams it in his mouth.

BETSY
What are you doing?

OTTO
I’m getting your sea monkeys.

BETSY
With my pet vibrator?

Otto spits it out.

OTTO
(shocked)
Your pet vibrator?

BETSY
Yes! I got it from a shelter. It’s
a rescue.

OTTO
I’m going to be sick.

BETSY
It’s not like I used it yet so
relax.

OTTO
(relieved)
OK. Close call.

BETSY
It was just sitting on the bathroom
floor at the woman’s shelter.

Otto begins to run off.

BETSY (CONT’D)
Which is crazy ’cause they’re so
expensive–

OTTO
Sea monkeys will be in the toilet!

BETSY
Don’t flush!

BLACKOUT.

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This entry was posted on July 18, 2015 by in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , .

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