– tony.espino –

a human. for now.

Afterlife

TONY ESPINO AFTERLIFE V1.1 ORIGINAL DRAFT 6/2/15

EXT. ELROY’S HOUSE – DAY

ELROY walks up to his front door and tries to unlock it but
can’t. Unaware to Elroy there’s a MAN sitting on the curb
watching him.

ELROY
I don’t understand why my house
keys aren’t working.

Elroy tries unlocking it again, but still nothing.

ELROY (CONT’D)
What’s going on here?

He throws his shoulder into the door trying to force it open.
Still nothing.

ELROY (CONT’D)
Why can’t I get in my house?

MAN
It’s because you’re dead you moron.

ELROY
What?! I’m not dead. No. No. It
can’t be true.

Elroy begins pounding on the door. A man in a suit and tie
enters the stage. Elroy continues pounding on the door in the
background.

SUIT MAN
(to audience)
Has this happened to you? Have you
ever thought you were locked out of
your house, when really you’re just
dead?

ELROY
(crying)
Let me in! Let me in!

SUIT MAN
Don’t spend eternity banging on the
door of the living. Reserve a
friendly guide to assist you in the
afterlife BEFORE you die.

The Man on the curb walks up behind Elroy.

ELROY
No! I can’t be dead!

The Man grabs Elroy by the back of the collar, turns him
around and punches him in the face knocking him out.

SUIT MAN
(to audience)
Your guide will be waiting to
embrace and assist you on your new
journey through the afterworld.
Beginning with a ceremonious trip
to the red carpet where all new
souls are celebrated. A truly once
in eternity opportunity.

Man starts dragging Elroy toward the street then suddenly
drops him.

MAN
(calling at passing bus)
Hey, wait up!

He steps on Elroy trying to run after the bus.

MAN (CONT’D)
Come back! Ahhh…dammit. That was
the last bus ’til forever. Not going to
make it to the red carpet
ceremony.

SUIT MAN
(to audience)
This preferential treatment in the
afterlife can be yours, but you
must call now BEFORE you die. Don’t
wait. Guides are booking up fast.

The Man sits down on Elroy’s unconscious body. He
pulls out a bag of sunflower seeds, chews them and spits out
the shells.

SUIT MAN (CONT’D)
(to audience)
Reserve your guide today. The bond
you form will be inseparable.

BLACKOUT.

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This entry was posted on July 26, 2015 by in comedy, funny, humor, sketches, writers, writing and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , .

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