– tony.espino –

a human. for now.

Traffic

TONY ESPINO TRAFFIC V1.1 ORIGINAL DRAFT 7/16/15

I/E. CAR – DAY

OTTO is in the driver’s seat, ELROY is beside him in the
passenger’s seat. They’re siting in slow-moving traffic.

OTTO
This traffic is really making me
hate life.

ELROY
There’s probably not even a good
reason for it.

OTTO
There better be dead bodies
scattered all over the road.

ELROY
Or someone with chickenpox running
around trying to touch everyone.

OTTO
Oh. Here we go. We’re moving a few
feet. And…that’s it.

ELROY
That was a good one.

OTTO
Oh no. Some homeless dude is using
the traffic as an opportunity.

ELROY
What’s he sleeping in it?

OTTO
He’s got a sign and a cup for
change.

ELROY
Is he dirty?

OTTO
Filthy.

ELROY
He’s probably the real deal.

OTTO
No one is giving him any money.

ELROY
As long as you don’t make eye
contact you don’t have to. That’s
the rule.

OTTO
Did they teach that in driver’s
ed.?

ELROY
We’ll get through this together.
Eyes on the road.

OTTO
He’s so distracting though.

ELROY
Focus.

OTTO
Dammit! It happened.

Otto can’t stop staring at the homeless man.

ELROY
What did you do?!

OTTO
I was just looking and next thing I
know he’s staring at me.

ELROY
Unlock you eyes.

OTTO
I can’t. Our eyes are stuck on each
other now.

ELROY
You have to break away for your own
safety.

OTTO
This is so uncomfortable. He’s
going inside me with his eyes.

ELROY
We need to find some change.

OTTO
You’ll have to do it without me. I
can’t look away. Check the ashtray.

Elroy dumps the ashtray in his hand.

ELROY
A bunch of change and some
cigarette butts.

OTTO
Get rid of the butts.

ELROY
Maybe he can use them for
something.

OTTO
He’s not MacGyver.

ELROY
Whatever. I’m keeping them.

OTTO
Fine. As soon as we get close I’ll
give him the change. And then we’ll
wrangle my eyes back.

ELROY
Foolproof plan.

OTTO
Any minute now.

ELROY
Just one inch at a time.

OTTO
He’s got all day.

ELROY
He sure does. Oooh look! A wishing
well!

Elroy looks at the change in his hand and runs out of the
car.

ELROY (CONT’D)
I have so many wishes!

BLACKOUT.

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This entry was posted on August 8, 2015 by in art, comedy, entertainment, funny, humor, sketches, writers, writing and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , .

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