– tony.espino –

a human. for now.

Cliff

TONY ESPINO CLIFF V1.1 ORIGINAL DRAFT 7/3/15

EXT. CLIFF – DAY

OTTO has ALICE cornered at the edge of a cliff with nowhere
to go.

ALICE
Oh no. I’m on a cliff. This is
terible.

OTTO
Nowhere to go now. So hand it over.

ALICE
Hand what over?

OTTO
You know what I’m here for and it
ain’t revenge.

ALICE
Well, you ain’t getting it.

She takes off a shoe and empties it out in her hand.

OTTO
That’s my father’s precious fur.

ALICE
A pound and a half. Soft as a
baby’s brains.

OTTO
You killed my father once and that
was one time too many.

ALICE
Sorry if I’m a Bigfoot hunter and
your dad happens to be Bigfoot.

OTTO
Dad. Foot.

ALICE
Dead. Foot.

OTTO
Just hand over his fur and no one
has to get hurt.

Alice shoves a handful of fur in her mouth.

OTTO (CONT’D)
No! You fool. What were you
thinking?

ALICE
Don’t worry there’s more.

She empties her other shoe in her hand.

ALICE (CONT’D)
I really love walking on your dad’s
dead fur.

OTTO
I didn’t think I’d have to push
someone off a cliff today but I
guess–

Alice shoves a handful of fur in Otto’s mouth.

ALICE
You can’t throw me off now. I gave
it back to you.

OTTO
By shoving it down my throat.

ALICE
Why do you look so yellow?

Otto arches backwards.

OTTO
This feels right.

Alice arches backwards like Otto.

ALICE
It’s like I’m a banana.

OTTO
Eating dead Dadfoot fur makes
everything seem bananas.

ALICE
I’m tripping your balls because I
don’t have my own.

OTTO
It feels like you’re tripping my
balls.

ALICE
I’m going to puke out of my mouth
now.

OTTO
Yeah, you are.

Alice vomits and it’s gross.

ALICE
I’m sorry. I just hacked up all
that Bigfoot fur.

OTTO
I think I have a furball myself.

Otto begins puking.

ALICE
I knew I shouldn’t have forcefed
you all that fur.

OTTO
Look. Our regurgitated furballs are
expanding from being in our
stomachs.

ALICE
We must be in some sort of a
Lovecraft novel.

OTTO
It’s growing and turning into–

ALICE
Bigfoot?

OTTO
Dad?

ALICE
But I killed him.

OTTO
And then you brought him back to
life.

ALICE
Dammit! I can’t collect
unemployment if I’m a miracle
worker.

OTTO
No I think it’s alright.

ALICE
Shut up! You’re just a banana!

Alice jumps off cliff.

OTTO
Cool!

ALICE
Not cool. There’s steps down here
apparently. I guess I’ll just walk
down.

OTTO
Hold up. Me and dad will follow you
down. Maybe we can all grab lunch.

ALICE
There’s a diner up the road that
has amazing banana cream pie.

Blackout.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Information

This entry was posted on August 13, 2015 by in art, comedy, entertainment, funny, humor, sketches, writers, writing and tagged , , , , , , , , , , .

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 200 other followers

Blog Stats

  • 7,109 hits
%d bloggers like this: