– tony.espino –

a human. for now.

Snow White

TONY ESPINO ANTI-SNOW WHITE V1.1 ORIGINAL DRAFT 8/6/15

EXT. FOREST – DAY

GRUMPY is sitting down against a tree, with one eye shut,
playing with a stick.

GRUMPY
Snow White has turned into such a
bitch lately.

SLEEPY notices Grumpy and sits down next to him.

SLEEPY
You grumpy?

GRUMPY
What you can’t tell us apart? Of
course I’m Grumpy.

SLEEPY
I meant are you grumpy, Grumpy?

GRUMPY
What do you want, Sleepy?

SLEEPY
I think Snow White’s been acting
different too.

GRUMPY
Like a bitch, Sleepy. Ever since
she married that prince.

SLEEPY
Prince Charming. More like Prince
Butthole-arming.

GRUMPY
She treats us like we’re just some
creatures she found in the woods.

SLEEPY
Let’s give her the silent
treatment.

GRUMPY
Yeah. You want to silence her, huh?
I like that idea.

Grumpy breaks the stick in half.

SLEEPY
I just meant not talking to her.

GRUMPY
Too ineffective. We need to become
a unit. You and I.

SLEEPY
Like a team?

GRUMPY
A club. For Snow White haters.

SLEEPY
Always wanted to be in a club.

GRUMPY
We’ll need a motto.

SLEEPY
Snow White: We hate her.

GRUMPY
The truth. That’s good. We should
get weapons too and leather
jackets.

SLEEPY
Yeah. Like a gang.

GRUMPY
A gang of Snow White defectors.

SLEEPY
We can use Doc’s meth lab.

GRUMPY
And Bashful has a really tight ass.

SLEEPY
Wait. What?

GRUMPY
For hiding the crank.

SLEEPY
Maybe we can all wear something
Snow White hates. Like tennis
shoes.

GRUMPY
And we can hang out with the evil
queen that tried to poison her.

SLEEPY
We could worship her.

GRUMPY
She’ll be our idol.

SLEEPY
We’ll need to offer her a
sacrifice.

GRUMPY
Our hair?

SLEEPY
Our teeth?

GRUMPY
Our souls.

Sleepy pulls out a bottle of sleeping pills.

SLEEPY
Here.

GRUMPY
Sleeping pills?

SLEEPY
Yeah.

Sleepy pours the pills in his mouth but they spill
everywhere, and he collapses.

GRUMPY
Dammit you spilled them everywhere.

Grumpy starts picking up the pills and checks on Sleepy.

GRUMPY (CONT’D)
Hey.

He shakes Sleepy.

GRUMPY (CONT’D)
Before I go sacrificing myself,
sorta wanna know if you’re dead or
just sleeping.

He grabs a handful of pills and pops them in his mouth.

GRUMPY (CONT’D)
I swear, if I’m dying as you’re
waking up…I’m going to be so grumpy.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Information

This entry was posted on August 25, 2015 by in art, comedy, funny, humor, sketches, writers, writing and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , .

Enter your email address to follow this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join 200 other followers

Blog Stats

  • 7,109 hits
%d bloggers like this: