– tony.espino –

a human. for now.

10.16 | august

chronicle of an unreliable voice

Folder 14

I get so paranoid when tractor trailers come roaring up behind me. I get especially nervous when I see them move to the passing lane. My main concern is that if both hands aren’t on the steering wheel they’ll think that I’m masturbating. Truckers are always on the lookout for this sort of thing. I would know. I used to be a subscriber to Truckers Quarterly. A magazine. Released quarterly. About truckers.

“This salty air has done weird things to your face.” Dead studied the Sailor’s face like a puzzle.
“Is it bad?”
“It’s weird.”
The other Sailor was sniffing Dead’s hair.
“Dude, it’s bad. We’ve been out here forever.”
Dead put her hand out. “May I touch it.”
“Yes. You can touch it.”
Dead touched the side of the Sailor’s face.
The other Sailor sniffed her hair.
“Smells like seaweed.”
“I’m sorry. Is that unsuitable for this vessel?”
“No. No. We actually like your scent.”
“It’s probably just from being dead in the water for so long.”
The Sailor put his hand out.
“Is it OK? Can I touch your face?”
“Of course.”
The Sailor reached his hand out to touch her face and poked her in the eye.
Dead screamed. The Sailors covered their ears.
“What did you do to her?”
“I don’t know. I tried to touch her face, and her eye got in the way.”
“You’re an idiot.”
“Why is she still screaming?”
“Because you jammed your finger in her eye.”
“I didn’t jam it on purpose. It was an accident.”
“How do you accidentally jam a finger in her eye?”
“We must have hit a wave or something.”
“There are no waves.”
Dead became silent.
“Are you okay?”
A wave crashed into the boat. Dead’s head collided with the Sailor’s. Dead screamed.

A whole magazine full of CB reviews and trucker’s stories. Truck stop catastrophes, blowouts and blowjobs. Bad food, bad coffee and bad hygiene. None of which they found bad. I couldn’t get enough of these stories. I could relate. Mostly to the driving part. Only to the driving part. Not driving a big rig, but just driving. Very relatable. I never had stories of watching others perform oral sex in their cars while driving. The truckers had all those stories. They said, “these people think they’re in their own private worlds.” That would make the truckers the all seeing Gods of the highway.


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This entry was posted on August 10, 2016 by in books, comedy, fiction, flash fiction, funny, humor, writers, writing and tagged , , , , , , , , .

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